He's Confused
by blatant-rusted
Summary: Oneshot. Blatant and utter crap because i was bored. Allen's confused. He doesn't know if he's straight or gay. so he decides to find out. creepy random girl in it. Outright Yullen


Rusty has been writing all through the vacation

**Rusty has been writing all through the vacation. Yay…? So I did lots of things to the guys. I made them straight, gay, bi and even asexual. I love experimenting with them and they're all willing subjects. Next oneshot about how Allen just has to kiss both a guy and a girl to find out which one he likes better. He's going to die…also a little crack inspired by a fic which I can't remember the name for…don't worry, I get it soon enough, I think. Many thanks to you who read and to you who review…like my friend says, it's a crack bromance**

**T for Teens can only read this garbage…this good garbage… By the way, the hot dude he kisses is Silva from the Spanish football team...Hehehehehehehehe…**

**Me no want to own DGM me would do unspeakables if it were mine… Also I don't like Silva too much but he is hot so you girls can have him**

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Allen was a little confused. He was sure he liked girls when this really sexy guy walked by and caused him to swoon. Now, no one noticed him swooning because they were too busy looking at that guy. He even had a cute little mole on his chin. Allen turned and immediately hit a pole. He went into the nearest button store and saw a really hot girl standing in the aisles. She was much better looking than Lenalee in so many ways. For instance, she didn't dress like a prostitute. She wore **decent** clothes like a sort of baggy jeans and a loose t-shirt that wasn't too big. She even wore sneakers instead of six inch heels trust me…she does wear six inch heels. She had curly brown hair that ended three inches from her shoulder and cradled her chin…though her hair did end at her chin.

She was standing three aisles away from him and raised a small blue button to the light. He noted that her eyes were a light blue. He started to blush and looked away briefly. She's pretty he thought absentmindedly. He wanted to ask her out but couldn't find the courage. He was scarred and his left arm was red and in a way, disfigured. She would never even say yes. He looked down and found a single orange button. In it was what looked like the letter S. Weirder that fiction it was. Oh wait, this is fiction….oops. He almost dropped the button when he felt a finger touch his shoulder. He turned around to see the girl right in front of him. He thought she looked prettier up close…maybe even alluring.

"Hi…orange and blue match as colours," she smiled.

"Hi," was all he could muster and a feeble one at that.

"I noticed you in this aisle and it's embarrassing to say but…I rather fancy you. Do you want to go out with me sometime later?" she asked.

He could not believe this was happening to him. He felt on top of the world now. But wait…didn't he think the guy on the street was sexy?! Hold up there partner. Now Allen was really confused. He liked both the girl and the guy…what was going on with him these days? This could not be seriously happening to him…oh the horror of it all. Not fair man, not fair! He screamed inside his head. Then his thoughts landed on a certain other someone and how sexy he was. Oh Allen felt like jumping off the cliff right now.

"Uh…I don't really know. Maybe next week?" he said feebly again. She was making him swoon right now with her pouting expression.

She went closer to him and Allen backed up. Soon he was in the corner of the shop and trapped. She was so close to him that there might not have been any space between them if they dropped a farthing between. Scratch that…the farthing might not even fall. She crept even closer and kissed him deeply. He wondered what was going on. After all, he didn't know her and she sure as hell didn't know him. So why was she kissing him?

"Tell me when and where when you decide," she smiled and touched his butt, "Oh…and, nice ass."

Allen felt like he was just molested by her lips and felt even more self conscious than he already was after her comment. But like all girls…I mean boys as well, he looked back at his behind and wondered what the hell was so attractive about it? He knew what he must do now. He was either gay or straight. He either liked guys or girls…and to put it in terms of the Dark Order…he either felt it for Lenalee or Kanda. He went back into town and sat in the back of the darkest café he could find. It was a quiet little thing and no one noticed him there or the guy from earlier. Allen sighed. All he had to do was find a guy to kiss and then decide his sexuality. Not hard considering almost everyone was frikin' straight. He leaned back and felt a person behind him. He immediately sat up.

"I am so sorry," he apologized, "I didn't notice you there."

"It's okay," this guy had a thick Spanish accent which sounded really good, "it's so dark here that I didn't even notice you here."

Allen knew he would freak the guy out by saying this but he had to. After all, it was pitch black in here and they could see nothing at all. So what's one little question?

"I know this might freak you out but I need to ask you a really weird question," he said.

"Go right on ahead," he replied.

"Can I have your help in an experiment?" Allen asked nervously.

"What kind of experiment?" hot voiced Spanish guy asked.

Allen gulped silently. He might get beaten up for this but he had to…he needed to try this or he might as well jump off the cliff.

"This really hot girl asked me out but I had to reschedule because I'm really confused right now. I know I like girls but I think I like guys as well. I know this sounds stupid and creepy but can I kiss you to see if I like guys or girls?"

There was a long moment of silence that followed that string of words. God, he felt stupid for even asking. The guy was probably going to call the police right there and then. Poor Allen would get thrown in jail for this. And he was too young to be in jail man…

"Uh…sure. I hope my boyfriend doesn't mind this…he's the jealous type," the guy said.

Why was his accent kinda sexy? Allen just went a little closer to the guy and felt for his face. He had nice strong features in his face…smooth too. Allen hoped for the best and then kissed him. It was an awkward moment where he didn't know what was happening to him. But after he kissed the guy, he made a run for it. He even ran into the girl who smiled and cornered him.

"So have you made up your mind yet?" she asked.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "but I'm gay."

"Why are all the cute ones gay?" she asked smiling and then left.

Allen ran straight back to the Order and up to his room. He had been kissed by a girl today and he kissed a boy today. Today could not get any weirder…or could it? He was just about to walk down the hall when he bumped into Kanda. Normally Allen would've run away at the sight of him for no reason but he felt like doing something evil. And then he could run away for the rest of his life.

"Get off me you shrimp," Kanda hissed.

_Shrimp?_ Twitch, twitch. How dare he call him a shrimp? Bean-sprout was already degrading, but shrimp…? Oh he was going to pay. Allen kneed Kanda on getting up….he kneed him in the stomach. He was going to do it harder when one little thought came to mind. Oh yes, Allen was thinking that our boy was hot. Not that it really mattered to Kanda that he was but to Allen, it was a completely different matter altogether. Since when did he like Kanda like that? It was probably hidden under all his confusion. And now Allen had the perfect opportunity to do what he wanted. But he forgot the pressure he was putting on the other's stomach with his knee.

"Get…of…me…"

Allen thought it was a perfect opportunity to freak someone out. Heck, he had even made up something on the spot as well.

"You know Kanda," he raised his eyebrows and lowered them like all the other guys that are trying to impress a lady.

"What?" Kanda asked annoyed. He was up to take on any shenanigans today. And his stomach was taking too much pressure. For a little shrimp, he could sure skewer someone with his bones.

"I've always wanted to say this," he enjoyed seeing Kanda in such a pitiful, confuses situation which was going to get more awkward for him, "but I," he did the eyebrow thing again.

Kanda decided enough was enough and threw him to the floor…more like pinned him down. He was fed up now and was just about to beat the living shit out of the boy when he spat it out.

"…what the- where was I?...oh yeah…love you," he smiled maliciously.

Kanda gasped as though it was the most macabre thing he had ever heard in his life besides the weird advances some girls in town made to him. But hey, he was in shock. And when he thought about the way he had Allen pinned down, he came to the shocking horror. Allen probably was enjoying this right now. Allen thought that he had this thing in the bag. All he had to do now was to make the moment more awkward and gay and the joke would be too funny. So he went for it. He took this golden opportunity to free his hands, pull Kanda downwards and kiss him. It was even more controversial looking than ever. After all, he had been scheming this in his mind for the past five minutes. And now he had finally got back at Kanda for all his name calling, bastard bad-assedness is that even a word? Oh well….

Little did he know anything? Kanda was fully aware of what was happening to him. He had comprehended it well and had to admit that this beat the weird girls in town. He had even thought Allen was cute, he guessed. So why not go with it. He liked Allen like that but never showed any signs of it. He got up and shoved Allen into some deep dark crevice in the Order where no one would find him. Allen was ready to die. He had finally gotten his hands on the meanest, most bad-assed, sexiest to him person in the whole Order. Now he could die in peace. But what he least expected happened. He didn't expect to not see the point of Mugen and he certainly didn't expect Kanda to kiss him,

Before he knew what was happening, he had stopped kissing him and stood straight, adjusting his jacket. Allen knew what had just happened.

"It wouldn't work out," Kanda said leaving.

"Huh? Why not Kanda?" Allen pulled him back to where he stood a few moments ago.

"The church doesn't support it," he said.

"I don't care," Allen said. Kanda simply nodded in agreement, a sly smile playing across his face.

And they left the corner in the secluded corridor. Kanda went towards the forest to train and Allen followed to watch…What? You didn't like the ending…let's just say that they spent most of the time making out rather than training, okay?

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**Rusty thought it was funny if the girl was a little too straightforward. And well…I think this ton of words os only the beginning of a beautiful relationship between me and fanfiction. How was it? Tell me, tell me, TELL ME! I'm on a chocolate high right now because I ate like three pounds of the stuff…Review and I'll be back with more…it could be straight, gay or even bi! Hehehehehehehe…….**


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